Today we remember

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Not that many who haven't lost a baby would know that, as this day doesn't seem to attract the attention many other worthy causes do.

And we all know why. Because it involves dead babies. Dead babies. Doesn't that sound awful - dead babies? But that is the reality of it. Babies die. Babies are dying at the end of beautiful pregnancies before they are born or shortly after they are born. And there are too many of them. Far too many of them. I want this to stop.

For Hope's birthday this year, we asked friends and family to consider making a donation to the wonderful organisation here in Australia, the Stillbirth Foundation who are working so hard to raise awareness and funds to help reduce the incidence of stillbirth. We were so incredibly touched that close to $700 was raised in her name. $100 of that came from Simon and myself, $100 from grandparents and $100 from two lovely blogger friends who I have never met - you both know who you are. The rest came from other family members and friends. 15 Stella Stillbirth Foundation Bears were also purchased, which will be passed on to the next crop of heartbroken families who leave the hospital I gave birth at with empty arms.

But today I received the Stillbirth Foundation's monthly newsletter which highlighted the fundraising achievements of other families who had raised thousands and thousands of dollars in the memory of their missing babies. And it fired up the competitive spirit in me. I think we could have done better. I'll admit, I was a little disappointed. Was that all her first birthday was worth? $700 and a handful of teddy bears?

I'm pretty sure over the course of what should have been Hope's long and healthy life, much more would have been spent on her, had she been born alive and well. Which is how it was supposed to go. Sometimes the very bitter and cynical side of me likes to think her death saved our loved ones a lot of money. All those presents they'd never to buy her. Lucky them. Lucky us.

I know so much money will more than likely be spent on us in the coming weeks when our son is born. And while it will be so very appreciated, we really don't need it. We are drowning in baby stuff, especially baby boy stuff and I think people could better spend their money. And our house is only so big, I don't know how we'll make room for any more stuff! I know he deserves lovely things that Hope never got, just as much as he deserves all the love and affection she never got. But I think Hope deserved more. And all those other babies dying in Australia and around the world deserve more. Six a day. Six families a day in this country are walking out of hospital with empty arms. It is too many, far too many. And they only way we can change that is to help support the cause. I'll never give up on this.

I know though, I know - I should just be grateful. And I am. INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL. Those donations will help. Sure we couldn't beat some of those other families out there (and yes, I have a serious case of white line fever), but I am thankful for each and every cent that was lovingly donated in my Hope's name, and to the friends and family who also lovingly donated to us when Hope was born, to send us on the post-babyloss holiday. I truly am. Something is always better than nothing. People have been kind to us and I will never forget that.

So today I ask this. I'm not asking for donations or money or bears to be sent to local hospitals in her name. I'm not trying to lay a guilt trip on anyone I know or pressure them in to supporting a cause that is not as close to their heart as it is mine. I'm asking that she be remembered. I'm asking that everyone stops at 7pm in their respective time zone tonight to light a candle for my baby. And all missing babies in the world. As you'll see in the video above, there are far too many of them. So many heartbroken families, just like ours.

And then of course there are all of Hope's baby friends out there, where ever it is that our babies go when they leave us. Please remember them, too.

Christian
Rasika
Lucia
Iris
Ezra
Cayden
Jordan
Silas
Lev
Sam
Tikva
Kai
Alice
George
Teddy
Cameron
Henry
Harry
Charlotte
Jacob
Hannah
Callum
Serenity
Caleb
Maddy
Malou
Ciaran
Georgina
Emma
Collin
Zachery
Finn
Ferdinand
Sienna
Angel
Fionn
A.
William
Malina
Lachlan
Abigail
Mackenzie
Sky
Rose
Sophie
Peyton
Rory
Nicholas
Curtis
Kara
Birdie
Leila
Leyla
Noah
Maya
Dresden
Baker
Akul
Calvin
Spencer
Isla
Josie
Jack
Colden
Zoe
Ashlyn
Caitlin
Alexander
Lucy
Lane
Devin
Paige
Kathlyn
Liam
Luca
Avery & Sophie
Sophie & Aiden
Sophia & Ellie
Sophia & Nicholas
Matthew & Joshua
Jordan & Carleigh

Sadly, I know there are many, many more out there, and my deepest apologies if I left anyone off. I tried my best. But today, we remember them all. With so much love.