Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Spoken word project

So here is my spoken word blog post, as part of Angie's newest project. Thank you Angie.
I really did this on the fly, in a bit of a rush and probably should have re-done it as the light was terrible and I realised later I missed a line when reading, but I think best to go with my first shot, because this is me.

I read a very recent post, something I wrote for Hope's third birthday, just after Juliet was born. It felt better to me to read something new, as I just couldn't put myself back there and read some of my older stuff, especially the writing from before Angus arrived. Also, most of my posts are so long!! This one was nice and short. I also toyed with the idea of reading one of my few unpublished posts. But it was so raw, bitter and angry that I thought it should probably remain that way. But it is something I might consider doing in the future. Who knows. Keep reading/watching I guess.

Apologies again for the bad light and for well, just feeling so incredibly awkward and nervous about this. I really feel I'm putting myself out there by doing this, but so many others have been brave, so I may as well have a shot at it as well.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaqqaFUuErY&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Thank you for reading and watching. I feel so lucky to know you all and I feel I know you all that little bit better now, because of this project. So of course, thank you Angie.

xo
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32 comments:

  1. PaulaOctober 25, 2011 at 11:20 AM

    Just loved it and it was even more special that your necklace was so visible the whole time. Kind of twinkling in the light as if to say this is about Hope, hear my story.

    Again loved it.

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  2. alliecatOctober 25, 2011 at 11:40 AM

    Just beautiful, loving words, and you did really well xxx

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  3. Carly MarieOctober 25, 2011 at 12:24 PM

    Two cakes. Oh I am mess. Love you Sal and all your beautiful babies xx

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  4. JROctober 25, 2011 at 12:29 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. AngelaOctober 25, 2011 at 12:30 PM

    Sorry, posted with the wrong account. Let me try again:

    Beautiful, thank you for sharing. After receiving so much support from you it makes me cry to hear your voice because I know now what you sound like and I can impose that voice over the many comments you have left for me.

    You did a wonderful job.

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  6. SaraOctober 25, 2011 at 1:07 PM

    It's funny, I feel like I've heard you talk before, though I haven't. Somehow seeing you talking on the screen there makes me want to meet you all the more.

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  7. AnonymousOctober 25, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    I love this Sally. What a perfect choice you mad in reading this for the project. Like you I wasn't able to go back to the hardest moments of my writing, and like you I think there is something to be said for doing this more often. I love hearing the voices of all the beautiful women I have met on this journey. Thank you so much for sharing my lovely friend. xo

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  8. RenelOctober 25, 2011 at 4:41 PM

    you are just too sweet. I wonder how so many wonderful women can be as supportive and kind as you and others have been to us new mama's in the depth of our sadness. You said it would be too hard to read the words from the past. Maybe it is because it is your words and your experience and not mine or others that allows you to be supportive to others in the thick of it currently. I do appreciate you and where you are right now. I think of you often and how much love and life Juliet must be adding to your existence. Certainly bittersweet without Hope with you, but still life is full of love even with our broken hearts. Light and love to you.

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  9. FranchescaOctober 25, 2011 at 5:24 PM

    Oh my. Beautiful words. My son's birthday was two days before Jenna's, this hits so close to home. Big love to you, it was so lovely to hear your voice.

    xxxx

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  10. Catherine WOctober 25, 2011 at 5:30 PM

    'You'll be linked with your sister in a way that I can never truly understand' . . . oh my heart just went snap when you read that line.

    It was so, so lovely to hear your voice after all these years Sally. Your voice is so beautiful and gentle. Like Sara, seeing you talking here makes me want to meet you all the more. I hope that we will have that cup of tea one of these days!

    Like Paula, I love the twinkling necklace. These is a point at which the light hits it and you can hardly read Hope's name any longer, just a reflection of light. So beautiful, thank you for posting Sally xoxo

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  11. JeanetteOctober 25, 2011 at 5:34 PM

    Sally, this is just lovely. I'm so glad you joined in.
    I can understand you not wanting to go back to the times that are so raw, I couldn't either. I did look at my very old posts,but it was too hard.x

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  12. AoifeOctober 25, 2011 at 9:09 PM

    Hi,

    I'm new to your blog, and pretty new to this world... I lost my son Seamus on 20th May this year. I'm now pregnant again, with a due date of 20th May next year... It's exactly like you said - when I found that out, I felt my son had a hand in it... and I love the way you see it as a gift so that August won't always be just sad for you, but sad and happy... Of course, I have no idea if I'll make it to May, there's a million and one things that can go wrong, but it's lovely to feel that he's out there, somewhere, rooting for his little sibling.
    Beautiful post.

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  13. TracyOCOctober 25, 2011 at 10:41 PM

    This was a lovely post the first time around and seeing/hearing you read made it even better. Except, watching you read this post, I was reminded how young you are. Too young to know what you know.

    Echoing some of the other commenters, I saw Hope's necklace sparkling too and felt like it was some sort of stamp of approval.

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  14. Mary BethOctober 25, 2011 at 10:50 PM

    This was perfect. I loved reading this post and I loved hearing it, too. I have to echo everyone else in that I loved the necklace, and your voice, and the way you perfectly captured the happy and the sad. Maybe someday we can have a giant, world-wide meet and greet so we can all do this in person ;)
    xo

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  15. still life angieOctober 25, 2011 at 11:19 PM

    Just gorgeous. I have heard your voice before, but the earnestness and love just seeps through every word. This post is just beautiful. I love what TracyOC said, it reminds me how young y'all are. Love to you, Sally, thank you for sharing this part of you and this video.

    PS I loved it being backlit. You looked like an angel and Hope's necklace shown like a beacon.

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  16. still life angieOctober 25, 2011 at 11:20 PM

    I meant shone. Need. More. Coffee.

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  17. KateOctober 26, 2011 at 12:09 AM

    It is bitter, it is sweet. It is happy, it is sad. No truer words for me Sally. To celebrate these 2 birthdays in this way. I guess I'll find out how it really, truely feels on 13th & 16th December for Xavier and Joseph's birthdays.
    Thankyou for sharing. This was beautiful. xo

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  18. ericaOctober 26, 2011 at 3:40 AM

    Oh, Sally, thanks for so bravely posting this. You are beautiful and amazing. I love your choice of posts. I remember reading this, but you brought so much to it - the part where you were talking to Hope, that just did me in.

    I've just realized that this is the first time I've heard your voice, which seems strange to me, having been on this journey with you for so long. It's a truly lovely voice, Sally, so full of love and happiness and sadness. I'm so glad to know you, though of course I wish we could have met some other way.

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  19. Addi's momOctober 26, 2011 at 8:12 AM

    Beautiful. It's nice to hear these and see the person behind the posts in more than just a picture. Also I love your necklace :)

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  20. Josh JacksonOctober 26, 2011 at 8:12 AM

    It is so nice to hear you Sally, and to see you. What a nice gift Angie has given us all.

    Your Juliet and my Stella share many things in common, but of course, the one thing that seems to matter the most is that their sisters are missing. I grieve this with you Sally, and with our girls.

    Love and light to you.

    Josh

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  21. UnknownOctober 26, 2011 at 10:56 AM

    "Our hearts remain broken regardless of how full they are"--so true!!

    So touching to hear you read your words, I am hoping to get up the courage to do this myself!

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  22. FireflyforeverOctober 27, 2011 at 9:31 AM

    I loved this post when you wrote and it has been privilege to hear you read it. I thought the same as Sara - I felt like I had heard you speak before because so much of you comes through your writing but it was so special to hear the love in your voice as you spoke about your children. I just so wish there were two little girls here to enjoy the two cakes on two days in August.

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  23. NikkiOctober 27, 2011 at 10:09 AM

    I have loved your blog for a while now, and this vlog is beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing.

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  24. DandelionBreezeOctober 27, 2011 at 12:41 PM

    Such a beautiful idea... thank you for sharing it xoxo

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  25. AnonymousOctober 28, 2011 at 8:50 AM

    Sally, what a beautiful letter. It just aches with love and missing-ness and hope.

    Much love to you. Thank you for taking part. x Louise

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  26. St ElsewhereOctober 29, 2011 at 5:04 AM

    xoxo

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  27. StephanieOctober 31, 2011 at 11:02 AM

    Two cakes in two days. . . I think we are living the same feelings. My daughter was born the day before my son's birthday. It is bitter sweet, to see the days marking pain and joy so close together.

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  28. CrystalOctober 31, 2011 at 3:01 PM

    Big hugs!!

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  29. SuzOctober 31, 2011 at 3:46 PM

    On Hope's birthday I lit a candle Sal and I thanked her for bringing me our friendship. But you know that I would hand it all back in a single second if it meant you could have your big girl with you. Love you xx

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  30. HollyNovember 2, 2011 at 7:43 AM

    I remember reading it. Hearing you speak the words is even more touching. ♥

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  31. UnknownNovember 5, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    Thank you for sharing - so beautiful to hear your words.

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  32. DanaNovember 7, 2011 at 1:30 AM

    "It is bitter, it is sweet. It is happy, it is sad."

    Beautiful.

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