Silas Orion

This time 12 months ago was an ugly time for me. The cards and flowers were starting to dry up, yet my tears were not. My grief was dark and heavy. At times, the computer was my only friend (and a lot of the time, it still is).

I've written about how I found my way to glow in the woods before, but on this particular day, when I was reading along, glued to my screen, I was directed to this lovely couple, who had just become the newest members of our club.

Their story hit me hard. I wasn't far out from the worst day of my life myself so I still hadn't learnt how to face the world yet or live without her (not that I've got that down pat yet, either).

I was heartbroken. Gutted. Shocked. And so sad.

I went back and read all of their back story. The familiar story of hope and joy over a perfect pregnancy. It was like reading about my own nine month journey. Then the devastation that came with the birth. Everything ending not the way it was supposed to.

Little Silas, he's the most beautiful baby boy. Go have a look for yourself. It is so cruel and unfair he's not here. I'm remain as sad for Lani and Chris today as I was back on that tear-soaked September day last year.

Both Chris and Lani write with such passion and beauty. I feel the words I put on the screen today will never be enough. I have thought about what I might say today for weeks. Probably stressed over it as much as I did with my own baby's first birthday. But in the end, words don't really matter. It is just the love and understanding that counts.

To our dear friends all the way on the other side of the world, please know we are thinking of you today. We wish everything was so very different.

To everyone else, please head over and give them all the love you can.