We will have a son.
Hope will be a big sister.
This new little man who I now feel daily in my belly will be a very special little brother.
The perfect family.
One of each.
A son for Simon to throw a baseball around with.
A baby boy for me to love, nurture and smother with love.
Once upon a time, we would have probably called it quits at this point of our baby-making lives after being so lucky, so blessed.
But we I don't think we will ever feel finished in this game.
We'll be the perfect family, but forever incomplete.
A missing link.
The big sister who never was.
Our little Hope who we can never get back.
Our daughter. Gone.
Here is our boy, half way along and happy and healthy.
Mummy and Daddy, breathing out. And working overtime to come up with a name.........
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let me say how lovely that you are having a son. and how right you are, that no matter what your family eventually turns out to look like, it will never be what it appears on the surface.
ReplyDeletei get the "millionaire family" comments a lot, sometimes snidely, with clear envy. "oooh, a boy and a girl, lucky you." yes lucky. immensely lucky. but i'd like to shout back that there were three, that there should be three. that even one of each can never make it perfect.
i don't. i don't need to, most of the time.
i hope your boy brings you all the joy my Oscar has brought me. and i hope you feel Hope's presence as his sister, just as we feel Finn's on O & Posey, in ways that always surprise.
you will so love a son! What a blessing.
ReplyDeleteHope will always be a big sister watching out over all of you...
i guess no family is ever perfect, but I think that yours will be filled with more love, compassion and understanding than most. Your imperfection is daily yet will be so unseen...
ReplyDeleteand, YAY!!!!, a boy!
Let's start out by saying how adorable that picture is!
ReplyDeleteI feel like we are living parallel lives, although at different times. You will love this boy in a way you can't even imagine right now. You will have the "perfect" family, but in a perfectly different way. Hope's presence will always be felt, and I am sure this boy will love her just like you and Simon. I am so happy for you. I would have been happy either way:) I guess I am just happy that you now know and have time to get used to the idea.
And for what it's worth, I melt every time Denis smiles at me and always feel a twinge of silliness for ever wishing that he would be a girl. It just doesn't matter as long as they come out screaming!
I feel the same Sally :)
ReplyDeleteYour little boy is beautiful x
Oh, Sally. It is all so bittersweet. Hope should be here with you.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to her that your little man is doing well. I know you won't relax until he is safe in your arms.
Incomplete is right. I think that will always be in the background.
ReplyDeleteSo happy to see those pics of your beautiful baby boy!
Congrats Sally. I'm truly happy for you, yet at the same time a tad envious. I long for a little baby boy of my own, probably just as you have yearned for a little girl. Wishing you much health and happiness for the rest of your pregnancy. Love
ReplyDeletei am so happy for you. hope, i am sure, is smiling on you. he is a blessed little man to come into such loving parents who will tell him all about his big sister and he will adore her.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet little boy you have there! Is he opening his mouth in that shot? I know that Hope will forever be a part of his life too!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful picture of your little boy.
ReplyDeleteHe will be a very special little brother. Hope will always be a part of your family.
'I don't think we will ever feel finished in this game' - so true. I don't think my husband and I will ever feel finished either. xx
I had the same - first a girl (Freyja) and then a boy (Kees).
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Sally.
A little boy! I am so happy for you guys! Boys are wonderful. I hope he grows up to know that he has an older sister watching over him.
ReplyDeleteSally, he's adorable. Already.
ReplyDeleteWe could have six of each and still be missing one. It's always going to be like that, I think, for us.
(And I've thought, many times, that we would also have probably called it quits if Charlotte was here, with the perfect family.)
Little boys are wonderful- and the pictures is great!
ReplyDeleteI have to go back for another US because they couldn't get a profile shot (like the picture you have) she was just tooo wiggly, but wouldn't wiggly the right way! :)
Hope things are well
Jane
Your son is beautiful. Good luck deciding on a name!
ReplyDeleteHe is beautiful. Congratulations.
ReplyDeleteIf one more person says "what are you having" and I say b/g twins and they answer with "a perfect, complete family", I will scream. My family will never be perfect. There will always be the children who wont sit for family pictures or dress up for halloween or go to school...
I think we will always feel incomplete... And that will always hurt.
Ah, I know. We had a girl before we lost our son, and we had decided we were complete. Then Ben died. Now, we have another boy, James - beautiful and perfect and funny and so full of joy. He is just what we needed. But this perfect little family of four, this "million dollar family," as my grandfather would have said, is not what it seems.
ReplyDeleteAnd that is just so hard. I'm sorry.
A boy! Such wonderful news! His sister will help guide him safely home...with luck and love.
ReplyDeleteThat is wonderful news. How exciting.
ReplyDeleteHealthy and happy and growing right along, wonderful news all the way around. And yes, you could have a million more, all of them girls and Hope would still be missing from the picture, no matter what. I am sorry it is all so bittersweet, I hate that part of this journey. But believe me that little boy will steal your heart away and mend some of the broken pieces in ways you never believed were possible. And he will bring Hope to you too.
ReplyDeletexxoo
Such wonderful news, Sally.
ReplyDeleteI know my family is forever incomplete, my heart forever with a hole.
Hope is always with you, in your heart. xoxo
Congratulations. I love little boys, they're so very sweet. :) So glad for you.
ReplyDeleteHe is beautiful!
ReplyDeletethe perfect imperfect family. the big sister who will always be missed.
ReplyDeletewishing you all good for this new little man coming into your lives.
xox
Wow, great picture of your baby boy! Hope will be a wonderful big sis, sending love in special ways.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your baby boy! Simon will be so happy. I loved carrying my boy. And having a boy is a good thing- it gives you a different pregnancy experience. I am so happy for you two.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Hope is taking care of her little brother, just like Emily is taking care of her big brother. Our babygirls are together and are happy. They're not alone.. and we're not either. Thank you for sharing what you do. it helps me get through my day. Honestly.
ReplyDeleteAmazing, amazing ultrasound pics hon. He's so beautiful.
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you and your lovely Hope xxxx
Congratulations! Sending you much love.
ReplyDeleteYour boy is beautiful, Sally. I wish that this feeling of incompleteness wasn't something you have to carry with you.
ReplyDelete