A chance encounter

You see, I had already "met" little Jordan Faraday before I happened across her Mama's page, Faraday's Garden.

In the days after we returned home dazed, confused and empty handed from the hospital, our photographer Gavin Blue, who volunteers for the wonderful organisation the Australian Community of Child Photographers, sent us the first pictures he'd taken of our Hope. He got them to us quickly because he knew we needed them for her funeral service booklet.

In his email signature, I saw a link to his website, then followed that to his blog, where I saw photos of little baby Jordan, her Mum Sophie, Dad Aaron and big brother Caelan.

These photos had been taken just a few months before Hope died and was born, but sadly little Jordan lost her life not long after the pictures were taken. She was only five and a half months old.

I kept that family close to my heart, even though I didn't know them, never knowing our lives would collide the way they now have.

Anyone who reads here would know about the relationship I built with Carly, in the weeks after I lost Hope. Her fantastic memorial site for lost babies, To Write Their Names in the Sand, was dreamt of and came to fruition on the day my Hope was born. And it was the name of that post, that gave me the name for this blog.

When Carly wrote Hope's name and posted her photo on the 4th of September, a picture of the name Jordan Faraday also appeared on the same day.

I again did not make much of this, but I thought about that little baby a lot, as she and Hope obviously got to play in the sand at Christian's seashore together that day.

It would have been some weeks or months later, poking around on the internet, looking for understanding and another companion in my grief when I followed a comment written by a girl called Sophie at my lifeline, Glow In The Woods.

The comment took me to Faraday's Garden, Sophie's blog about her journey of grief over the death of her little girl Jordan Faraday.

I recognised baby Jordan right away. Hope's photographer was Jordan's photographer - Gavin. I'd seen her before, I recognised that little girl! Then the picture of the name in the sand and the link to Carly's page! Two coincidences; it was all starting to get a bit too freaky.

Immediately I sent Sophie an email and told her about the two coincidences, and how freakish it was that life had put us together like that. Some might say fate, who knows? Some might say it was meant to be, but I still struggle with that, because I don't believe either of our daughters were meant to die. And we only me because they are both gone. I guess even though we are unlucky, we are lucky to have found each other.

Sophie and I talked over email for some days or weeks, again I can't remember, but in the end, it was Sophie who suggested I start a blog of my own, Tuesday's Hope, as an outlet for my grief.

I think I might have been smack bang in angry stage at that time (not sure if I've actually left angry stage) and I think Soph's words to me were:

"Oh you need a blog. I can feel your anger from here."

I realised at that point I had been too angry, I did have a lot to say so I took Soph's advice, took the plunge and clicked on create new blog. And here I am and the rest is history.

Today I went to meet Sophie in person for the first time.

She only lives about 35 minutes away and we had been talking about it for weeks, but just kept putting it off. Earlier this week we decided we'd wasted enough time, so we made a time for today and I drove across town with a batch of freshly baked double choc pecan brownies (and some homemade pea and ham soup - to balance out the serious choc overload) so we could wax lyrical about all things babyloss.

It is refreshing not to have to try and get someone to "Get It", as I discussed in my last post, when you know full well the broken woman sitting across from you knows just how you feel. Our stories are very different of course, but it is still a very similar type of pain. We both miss our little girls like crazy. We both want them back.

I suspect Soph was possible worried I did not want to see her today, now that she's expecting her "rainbow baby" but really, it was fine. Pregnancies in this community are much easier to take than the ones in real life. I am thrilled for Sophie and of course just hope like crazy this time, it all turns out the way it is supposed to. The thought of outliving another child is almost too much for most of us to bear I think.

We got to share photos of our missing daughters, trade hospital horror stories and discuss our hopes for the future. We probably knew most of it already, with all the conversations we've had on email and messenger over the past few months, but it was nice to do it again face to face, with soup, brownies and decaf tea.

I wasn't as nervous as I thought when I was driving to her house. It almost felt as if I was going to visit an old friend. Her house looked immediately familiar as I had seen so many pictures of it posted on her blog.

We sat and chatted for hours, and I suspect we could have gone for hours more, but I know now, Sophie is someone who is not going anywhere, so we can pick up where we left off today, at any time we want. That will be nice when we do.

And let me tell you, it feels good to get real hugs instead of virtual hugs for a change. Thanks for having me today, Soph.